crzymom2six

After months and months of endless agony, I have finally found the answer to one of life’s most pressing questions. The question is why is it that it gets more difficult every month to find alone time with my husband. And as luck would have it the answer has been there all along. It stems from my inability to recruit help cleaning house, and doing other chores like cooking and laundry.

One could gather that I am frustrated at the mere thought of this. Yet I don’t have a clue how to fix it. Nagging does not work. Yelling and screaming definitely does not work. And leaving the house a mess with the expectation that someone else will clean it, is a pipe dream at best. So what is the answer?

I have often dreamt of whisking my family away to spill my guts on one of those TV talk shows. You know the ones I am talking about. The shows like Dr. Phil, Oprah, Maury Povich, and The Montell show. In my dream the host berates my family for their lack of appreciation. And coaches them on the proper way to treat the woman of the house. And of course no show would be complete without the husband breaking down and sobbing, while he apologizes for neglecting  his wife.  We return home and the family is helpful and courteous and actually pulls their weight around the house.

But wait………I suddenly wake to the harsh reality of motherhood. It is 3 a.m. and everyone is in bed but me. I wait patiently for the washer to finish running so I can get one last load in before bed. And I am madly catching up on work on my blogs. I missed my opportunity to crawl under the covers with my husband, and snuggle while watching a movie. Sigh, I miss the quiet evenings we used to have when the kids were little. It seems as though life was simpler back then. As much as I hate to say it…..I wish I could just disappear with my husband. We would run away to a secluded beach where we could sip Pina Coladas all day  and forget about the endless chores waiting at home. But it is just a pipe dream. And I am faced with the harsh realities everyday.

Maybe if I close my eyes I can drift back into dream land……..and spend my sleep dreaming of my beach.

From Jeffersonville, Indiana comes  a story of a lawyer who really knows how to party. After a wild night of dinner and drinks he was found asleep in his neighbors garbage can.

On Wednesday morning Larry Wilder was found asleep in his neighbors garbage can. The neighbor called police who responded and found him headfirst in the garbage can, asleep. The police said that no crime was committed and that Mr. Wilder was not charged. But it does seem that he is suffering a bad case of embarrassment.

He claims that he had dinner and drinks with a client. And that he was driven home by his clients’ limousine. But after that he remembers very little. One can only imagine the amount of alcohol that was ingested to make him fall asleep in his neighbors garbage can.

I only hope that a great time was had by all. Maybe one day he will remember what happened. Let’s just hope that he lays off the booze for a while. Or that he falls asleep in his own bed after getting drunk.

Read It Here

This story comes to us from the great state of Nevada.  Picture this…..your a high school student on your way to school for the day. When you  get to the school you can’t help but notice a man, lying naked, and tied to a rock. You approach the man and ask if he needs help. The man replies “No”. So, you do the next best thing……..you call the police.

When the police show us they arrest they ask him why he is naked and tied to a rock. To which the man replies that he is watching buzzards flying overhead.  Gee, it must be a new technique for watching birds. Does it make a person feel closer to nature? Or is it a new way to attract the birds closer to you? But I think the better question is how did he get tied to the rock if he was alone. Don’t you need another person to tie you to a rock?And where was the other person?

Things that make you say hmmmm. Amazingly enough the man was only charged with loitering. Shouldn’t their have been additional charges? Well hopefully the next time he decides to go bird watching he will pick a more secluded spot. Preferably one far away from a school as possible.

Check Out The Story Here

      I want to write today about a story that has touched my heart deeply. It is a sad story that will break your heart.

This is about a little 5 yr old girl in a town not too far from mine. She was abducted and was missing for 11 days. And yesterday she was found buried in a shallow grave and covered in cement.  A horrible killing to say the least and a senseless one at that. And one that just breaks your heart when you hear that the mother was romantically involved with a sex offender.

Now of course everyone is innocent until proven guilty. But if they find that this man is connected to her death……..I say they should return to the middle ages, and have him drawn and quartered. Or we should return to the days of hanging offenders in public executions. We should not be allowing these types of criminals to live in our communities. And they certainly should not be allowed to enjoy life in our prison systems. And the mother deserves the same treatment for allowing a sex offender to be with her child.

If nothing else comes of this……..I hope that each and everyone of my readers will hug their children a little tighter tonight. And tell them that you love them. And do everything in your power to protect them from harm.

Read The Story Here

Once again a criminal has been caught in the act. From Santiago, Chile comes a woman caught smuggling drugs onto a plane bound for Spain. I bet your saying nothing unusual about that, well think again. This time the drugs were not hidden in the suitcase. No, the suitcase was actually made using a combination of the drugs and a mixture of resin and glass. Just another example of good police work and the craftiness of the criminal mind.

Check Out The Story Here

I have been so incredibly busy the last two weeks. My days have been occupied by life in airport land. And my nights have been spent trying to get over this respiratory illness that has consumed me. I have worked the last eleven days straight.

And airport land has been a very boring place lately. I guess the  incredibly bad economy has finally started to reach the airline industry. The number of people coming through our airport has dropped tremendously. The only excitement today was watching a man get arrested for DUI. Ya it was a very boring day. Hopefully, things will pick up some this summer.

I have also been struggling very hard to fight back against a respiratory illness. It has hit me so hard that I barely sleep at night. Right now the plan to beat it is to get some major rest this weekend. I hope to beat it without going to the Doctor to get some antibiotics. Wish me luck!!!

This is not a story of epic proportions, or a comical relief story. It is a story of an ordinary woman who did the right thing. A feel good story if you will, and the kind of story I need to write about now.

From Bellevue, Washington  a woman who was behind on her rent, facing eviction, and as broke as could be, discovers a 250,000 dollar mistake in her bank account, and gives it back to the bank. That’s right she went to the bank ATM to withdraw money and was shocked when she saw the balance in her account. The statement said her balance was 271,366.01 to be exact.

Now the amazing part is that this single mother who was facing eviction for being behind in her rent, gave it back to the bank. She said that it was the right thing to do as a child of God. Sure she admits to mentally having fantasies of spending the money, but she couldn’t do it.

It turns out that the bank made a mistake and issued her a new ATM card for the wrong account. The account actually belonged to an adult correctional facility. She said that when all was said and done at the end of the day, she paid her rent and was 3.00 dollars in the hole. But she felt good about what she had done.

Now the question is…….Could you do that? If you suddenly found yourself in the same position would you give it back? The answer for me would be yes.  And I actually did find myself in a similar spot. Last year a business that my husband and I deal with sent us our bill for a purchase we had made, and inside was a check for over 11,00.00. The check it turns out was meant to be sent to a business to pay a bill, but it ended up in our envelope by mistake. We did return the check the next day. And like the lady in this story we felt pretty darned good about it.

I don’t know about you, but at the end of my days I want to know that I did the right thing.

Embedded video from CNN Video

This is the funniest thing I have read all week. This weeks news story comes to us from China, and boy is it a good one.

The story goes like this…..Two lovers meet in a park. They get into a car and proceed to start having fun. Then a van backs out of it’s parking space and bumps into the couples’ car. Suddenly a man lets out a blood curdling scream and the woman jumps out of the car with blood around her mouth. Was it a ferocious cannibal on the attack in the park? Or was it a scorned lover taking revenge?

Well, the answer is that the couple was engaging in oral sex. And when the van backed into the couples’ car, the force of the impact caused the woman to bite down……..and she bit her lovers penis off.  Now little did the couple know, but they had been followed to the park. The victim in this case as it turns out is married. And his wife had hired a private investigator to follow her husband, because she thought he was cheating on her.

So, the investigator was in a car nearby spying on the husband, when the accident happened. He was kind enough to call the ambulance to take the man to the hospital. Now your probably asking what happened to the penis…….it was recovered by his lover and was taken to the hospital. No word yet as to whether the doctors were able to reattach his penis.

Now one can only imagine the reaction from his wife. Was she angry or just laughing her head off. The answer will have to remain a mystery. I can only hope that she laughs hysterically as she serve her husband with divorce papers.

One can only hope that he has learned his lesson that cheating doesn’t pay. But, I don’t think he will be engaging in any extracurricular activities anytime soon.

 Read The Story Here

Well here we are again, another week another pandemic. Some might call me crazy for making light of it, but personally I find it friggin’ hilarious.

For those of you that don’t know already, I work in airport land. Airport land can be a very strange place at times. Well when the swine flu reared it’s ugly head, it caused quite a stir. Suddenly everywhere I look there were people wearing masks like it was the end of the world. They were glued to the big screen TV’s for all the latest updates. And a sense  of panic had started to set in. Even my employer brought out the hospital grade masks to be opened in the event of a “Mass Outbreak”.  And in the middle of it all was me.

Sure I kept up with the latest updates from my employer on new procedures we had to implement. And I had to be extra vigilant in cleaning my hands and our equipment. I even bought some hand sanitizer to put in my pocket and avoided touching things without good reason. But after a few days I realized that this pandemic was nothing out of the ordinary. A little known fact is that the regular old flu has killed 13,000 people in the U.S. since January. And worldwide it kills about 250,000 to 500,000 people a year. So forgive me if a flu that has only sickened a few hundred and killed some doesn’t cause panic in me. What really had me thinking was the panic that the flu is “spreading” around the globe. Has everyone forgotten that spring break was just a few weeks ago. And one of the most popular destinations for spring breakers is Mexico. So, I find it to be perfectly logical that you would see swine flu around the globe. Just stop and ponder the ease at which a person can hop on an airplane, fly for a few hours and be at ground zero just to in time to have a front row seat for a major flu outbreak. Then you can hop on another plane and take your infected backside back to your home country to share the virus with your friends and loved ones.

Well enough about the swine flu or H1N1 as they like to call it to prevent people from freaking out at the thought of eating bacon. We have been so obsessed this week we have missed some truly great stories like this one.

Couple arrested for sex on lawn at Windsor Castle. Hmmmm how could we have overlooked this classic story of love? It seems that the couple was quite drunk when they wandered onto the lawn at Windsor Castle and proceeded to begin having sex. Never mind that the building and the garden area was packed with tourists. The best part is that Japanese tourist were filming this and the couple seemed oblivious to it. They just kept on enjoying themselves. Well sort of, at least until the police showed up.

Now imagine you wake up in a jail cell and your not quite sure how you got there. I mean heck the last thing you remember is being in a restaurant, enjoying a healthy size pint of beer, and checking out a really hot guy. And now the police want to know why you were having sex on the queens front lawn.  And your desperately trying to figure out why the ugliest man in the world is blowing kisses at you and thanking you for the great time last night.

Oh my too funny. Check out the story for yourself here

Have a great week folks and remember to: A. Stop kissing your neighbors pig and B. Wash your hands please, especially after picking the giant wedgie out of your butt crack or for the men after engaging in some heavy ball handling.

Who wouldn’t want to wow all their former classmates at their High School reunion? I know I would, that is why I love the idea of what this lady did.

As I was doing my daily check of the news on CNN I came across this story, and couldn’t resist checking it out. It seems that a woman in California came up with the idea of hiring a stripper to represent her at her 10 year reunion. She rented a room above the ballroom, bought her ticket and selected the stripper. On the day of the reunion, she had a camera that allowed her to see what was going on. And to make it seem like it really was her at the reunion, the stripper wore an earpiece. This allowed Andrea to talk to her and feed her with information. Things like names, little facts about people. All was going well until the stripper decided to dance to a song.

I won’t tell you how the rest of the story goes. All I can say is I wish I had thought of this when my reunion came around. Maybe I would have had more fun than I did. Anyways I do suggest checking out her blog, it is a good read. You can check it out here.

And I also suggest checking out the video on CNN.com

For the news video click here